In the spirit of Christmas I want to consider in more detail this concept of good person bad circumstance. I have mentioned this a couple of times in previous blogs but I think it warrants some focus on it’s own.
When we deal with people within our organisations, or even in our day to day lives, it’s very easy to get off on the wrong foot with someone. As a species our brains are always looking for shortcuts to cut down the processing they do and this can lead to us making assumptions about people and those assumptions then become ingrained.
Think about the people who annoy you on a daily basis. Think about the times you’ve interacted. How did those interactions go? What were the topics being discussed? Were your interactions always difficult or was there a turning point?
We can’t avoid working with people who annoy us so we have to consider ways to move forward. I would like you to consider this – good person, bad circumstance.
Fundamentally we all want to succeed at work and our passion for what we do can sometimes get in the way of working effectively with people. So how can you reset you reaction to someone? If we accept the notion that at a basic level we all want to move towards the same goal, we accept our part in whatever difficulties there are in a relationship and dial down the emotion and really consider the other person as fundamentally good then you have a chance of moving past the difficulties you have with them.
Repeat it as a mantra if that helps. I’ve found myself having to deploy this in the past, silently reminding myself we all have a common goal and that they are a good person, just bad circumstance; trying to identify what the triggers for each of us are and then trying to approach them in a more diplomatic way. You are unlikely to get it tight first time, or even second but persevere and who know where it might lead. Couple this with the 5 Why’s and it might help move a relationship to a new setting.